Cat, I can't say anything helpful about what you're going through, so instead I'll simply praise your telling of it. This is beautiful writing tragically written, yet beautiful just the same. Sharing such writing takes courage, even when it's coming out of desperation, and your long dedication to your art is apparent.
This essay just randomly popped up in my feed, and it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve read in weeks. I’m so sorry for what you and your son are going through. If the compassion of strangers means anything in this chaotic world, you have mine.
Cat, I'm just an email pal who absolutely loved your Poe book. I've been reading your emails since, and continue to enjoy your honest, heartfelt, captivating discussions, stories and insights. This post was a punch to the gut; I was right there with you in each sentence, each word, feeling your love and distress. My heart goes out to you. May Hashem bring permanent healing to your son, that beautiful child.
Cat, I type with damp eyes and my heart is breaking. The triceratops question. That pic of him standing at the window. And your writing Cat, so honest, measured and elegant in every way. The juxtaposition of feeling so loved and so bereft all at the same time. No one can say anything to make you feel better but you must understand that not only are you doing everything you can, you are doing it with grace and courage. I hate when (well-meaning) people say "One day at a time." One hour at a time is MUCH better, more doable and just as impressive. So many people are thinking of you with love and hope and I am one of them. Hugs to you all xo
So much love to you, Cat. I desperately wish your family did not have to go through this, and I am sending you all the love I can from a distace, but thank you for being willing to write about it, beautifully, and with such honesty.
The devil (metaphorical) is in the details and god (also metaphorical) is in the details. Each one of the observations of punched-in-the-face reality was like getting stuck by a needle; each of of the acts of kindness like a soft tickle on the back of the neck.
As T Van said so eloquently below, this is beautiful and tragic at the same time. This is one of those pieces of writing that slowly leaves the screen, travels that few feet and inhabits the body, the senses, the memory. Damn, you can write. But more importantly, damn, you are fierce and gentle Mom.
John, you might be putting it better than me! Thank you so much for your kindness. By the way, your book arrived and I'm so excited to read it. Looks great! Hope you're pleased and enjoying the process.
Oof. Cat, the horror is so vivid, so painfully real through your pen. And so is the love. Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm so sorry you and your son, and all your loved ones are having to live it.
Both of my children are cancer survivors. My first had leukemia at 5 years old. He too was a little bald child. The doctors told me that his experience would most likely become a footnote in his life. At the time I could not believe it. No way. But he is 30 years old now and he barely remembers a lot of what happened. I, of course, remember. I don't think the experience will ever be a footnote for me. I see you. Here is a hug across the cyber world, one mom to another.
Oh Dustye, I can't say how much I feel you. Thank you for being the voice of (very hard) experience here. I'm so glad your son is so long past this. I can fully believe it isn't and will likely never be a footnote for you. Hugs too - thank you.
My heart goes out to you ❤️ Your boundless love for your son and the pain you endured are so moving and real. As a mom, I feel every sentence along with you. Thank you for sharing your experience with such honesty.
My dear friend, there are only tears and awe. Thank you for sharing your experience, ongoing as it is. Per the usual, your observations are beyond astute, cutting (in the best way) and your writing exquisite. I wish with all my heart that you didn't have to write about this, but I think it's good that you did, that you do. You're such a talented, gorgeous writer and a beautiful person with much to say. My strength to you and your boy, always.
Nat, and as usual you are the kindest and loveliest! In the original draft, there was a line "A friend from grad school offered to Zoom with me from New Zealand." Much love as always.
Cat, you’re the real thing—human being, mother, writer, and inspiration 🙏🏻 thank you for your generosity. Your book is lucky to be written by you ♥️ sending so much love to you and your family 💕
Bravo Catherine. This was heart-stopping and I held my breath as I read. I'm in awe of your ability to write so beautifully about something so incredibly painful. Sending strength and love to you and your family. ❤️
Cat, I can't say anything helpful about what you're going through, so instead I'll simply praise your telling of it. This is beautiful writing tragically written, yet beautiful just the same. Sharing such writing takes courage, even when it's coming out of desperation, and your long dedication to your art is apparent.
Can't say how much I appreciate your incredibly kind words. Thank you, truly
This essay just randomly popped up in my feed, and it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve read in weeks. I’m so sorry for what you and your son are going through. If the compassion of strangers means anything in this chaotic world, you have mine.
Sarah, it means EVERYTHING, so a huge thank you. I really appreciate it.
Cat, I'm just an email pal who absolutely loved your Poe book. I've been reading your emails since, and continue to enjoy your honest, heartfelt, captivating discussions, stories and insights. This post was a punch to the gut; I was right there with you in each sentence, each word, feeling your love and distress. My heart goes out to you. May Hashem bring permanent healing to your son, that beautiful child.
Mona, of course I remember you! Thank you so, so much. Nice to "see" you again, even under the circs. :)
Cat, I type with damp eyes and my heart is breaking. The triceratops question. That pic of him standing at the window. And your writing Cat, so honest, measured and elegant in every way. The juxtaposition of feeling so loved and so bereft all at the same time. No one can say anything to make you feel better but you must understand that not only are you doing everything you can, you are doing it with grace and courage. I hate when (well-meaning) people say "One day at a time." One hour at a time is MUCH better, more doable and just as impressive. So many people are thinking of you with love and hope and I am one of them. Hugs to you all xo
So much love to you, Cat. I desperately wish your family did not have to go through this, and I am sending you all the love I can from a distace, but thank you for being willing to write about it, beautifully, and with such honesty.
This made me cry and reminded me of that Lorrie Moore story “People Like That Are the Only People Here”
I need to reread it. Been a while. Sorry to make you cry, Leigh, but I really appreciate the heartfelt sympathy.
The devil (metaphorical) is in the details and god (also metaphorical) is in the details. Each one of the observations of punched-in-the-face reality was like getting stuck by a needle; each of of the acts of kindness like a soft tickle on the back of the neck.
As T Van said so eloquently below, this is beautiful and tragic at the same time. This is one of those pieces of writing that slowly leaves the screen, travels that few feet and inhabits the body, the senses, the memory. Damn, you can write. But more importantly, damn, you are fierce and gentle Mom.
John, you might be putting it better than me! Thank you so much for your kindness. By the way, your book arrived and I'm so excited to read it. Looks great! Hope you're pleased and enjoying the process.
Oof. Cat, the horror is so vivid, so painfully real through your pen. And so is the love. Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm so sorry you and your son, and all your loved ones are having to live it.
Thanks so much, Karen. I so, so appreciate it. Catch me up on your news when you get a chance! :)
Both of my children are cancer survivors. My first had leukemia at 5 years old. He too was a little bald child. The doctors told me that his experience would most likely become a footnote in his life. At the time I could not believe it. No way. But he is 30 years old now and he barely remembers a lot of what happened. I, of course, remember. I don't think the experience will ever be a footnote for me. I see you. Here is a hug across the cyber world, one mom to another.
Oh Dustye, I can't say how much I feel you. Thank you for being the voice of (very hard) experience here. I'm so glad your son is so long past this. I can fully believe it isn't and will likely never be a footnote for you. Hugs too - thank you.
My heart goes out to you ❤️ Your boundless love for your son and the pain you endured are so moving and real. As a mom, I feel every sentence along with you. Thank you for sharing your experience with such honesty.
Meredith, thank you for reading! And your words are so kind. Thank you.
My dear friend, there are only tears and awe. Thank you for sharing your experience, ongoing as it is. Per the usual, your observations are beyond astute, cutting (in the best way) and your writing exquisite. I wish with all my heart that you didn't have to write about this, but I think it's good that you did, that you do. You're such a talented, gorgeous writer and a beautiful person with much to say. My strength to you and your boy, always.
Nat, and as usual you are the kindest and loveliest! In the original draft, there was a line "A friend from grad school offered to Zoom with me from New Zealand." Much love as always.
Cat, you’re the real thing—human being, mother, writer, and inspiration 🙏🏻 thank you for your generosity. Your book is lucky to be written by you ♥️ sending so much love to you and your family 💕
Bethany, you're the kindest - thank you so much.
🧡
One of the most moving pieces I have read in years. I am a stranger. But I know cancer. Sending you and your son light and healing love.
Carrie, thank you so much! So kind of you to say that. I so appreciate you reading it and for sending good thoughts too.
My heart goes out to you. Please know you are all in my healing thoughts.
Thank you, Trisha! Means a lot.
You're a beautiful writer, Catherine. Love to your son and your family as you go through this challenge.
Stanley, kiddo and I are both thanking you! You're a kind person.
Bravo Catherine. This was heart-stopping and I held my breath as I read. I'm in awe of your ability to write so beautifully about something so incredibly painful. Sending strength and love to you and your family. ❤️